I am a little concerned about something: Why does he not stop after you ask him to stop? That is something for you to be concerned about. His not immediately stopping does show that spanking you is his dominance over you. When you do get spanked is it initiated by you or him, or either/both?

And as for hurting you while spanking you in punishment. When I spank my wife it is sometimes hard and sometimes not. However, she says that just the fact that it is punishment makes it that much worse. I have used my hand or a belt depending on the severity of the offense. But I am always careful to listen to her and judge how she is doing so as not to actually hurt her.

As for other means of punishments. I have sent her to her room, made her write essays, and restricted her on-line and phone time. Basically whatever comes to mind at the time and is in line with the offense. She was restricted from on-line and the phone when she failed to complete her chores (she was too busy talking to her friend).

Incorporating discipline into the relationship has certainly worked for us. She feels more secure knowing where things stand. There is none of the touchy-feely, PC bull blocking the relationship. She is an important part of my life but she also is submissive to me which is not to say she is less than me.

When you next do something that you feel you should be punished for let him know afterwards how you feel. Express to him that you think you need to do something to make up for it. Let him know you feel badly about what you did and think you need to do something to correct it.

For every action there is a consequence. Let him know you need the consequnece for the action you feel is wrong. Let him know this is for you as much as for him. Likewise it should be something that will correct the faulty behaviour, in other words something you will not like.

Another source of information is takeninhand.com. I haven't been on it for awhile but it had some good stuff.