Female Disciplinarian

topic posted Sun, March 18, 2007 - 1:10 PM by  Becky
Hello everyone
I'm a mature woman who uses Domestic Discipline on my husband. He is spanked and submits to other additional punishments. I always incorporate some form of humiliation and embarrassment with his spanking. Our goal is for him to lose emotional control while being spanked. I'd love to chat or exchange email with other like minded woman in this group. Also, I'd love to know if there are any like minded woman in the Ohio area. I could use a coach/mentor on the mental aspects of spanking. ie. "Scolding, shaming, and lecturing."
MS Becky
posted by:
  • Unsu...

    what kind of humiliation and embarrassment do you use with your spankings? My Wife is not very imaginative that way.


    • Becky,
      I have been involved in this for some time and would be more than happy to chat or exchange emails. Certainly humiliation is an important aspect and there are many ways that this may be achieved. How serious do you make the punishments themselves? I cannot stress enough how important it is to ensure that a real punishment is VERY real and therefore painful and memorable. Stay in touch.
      • Dan
        offline 0
        Hi, Alison,

        Wow--you sound severe! How frequently do you discipline your husband and what other types of
        punishments or humiliation is used. Do you ever use restraints?


        Joy & Dan
      • Unsu...

        I agree punishment must be very real, painfull and memorable.
        I prefer to punish his cockhead and balls.

        • Unsu...
          Although the peoples are very various in the look of the sex corporal punishment and you are right if you think of a true corporal punishment, but I think your method leads to a result hardly if the couples want to use the punishment as foreplay because an extremely small group of men would enjoy a very real beating particularly the hits of cockhead or balls.
          The pain may extinguish the eroticism and pleasure. The spanking is like the salt the much beat will be killjoy.

  • Unsu...
    I identify as a submissive and I know that for me, punishment must be very real and very unpleasant. I was with a Dominant who would use a wooden paddle on me and although it was painful, I am a masochist so the results that he was looking for were coming at a pace that was unacceptable. And humiliation is hot for me. But to abandoned, to be THAT was punishment. When he began to use this as my punishment, my behavior quickly improved.
  • Unsu...

    I can tell you from experience that the humiliation form of a punishment can be much worse than the physical. By far the most humiliating thing that my wife has ever done to me was to tie me and another man together, face-to-face, and naked. She then made us kiss passionately for about an hour. Any time we looked like we were not being enthusiastic enough she would use her crop on us until our efforts improved. She and her friend (wife of the other guy) thought it was just great.

    This was NOT fun for me. Honestly I would rather she just commanded me to suck him. A BJ is, or can be a rather impersonal thing. But kissing is very personal. Even most professional prostitutes will do most anything for money but many draw the line at kissing on the mouth.

    I can promise you that I was a very well-behaved sub for quite a while after that. I would rather have the crop on any day.
  • Hello. I am a man interested in all about Domestic Discipline, as I have experienced it, beeing disciplined by my girlfriend.
    Of course there are many reasons who can explain why a couple make an optin for a DD lifestyle, and in the case a DD relationship where the woman is the top. Personally I don't believe that in a DD relationship, humiliations can be a good add for the health of the relationship. With me would not work, and I would reject it in the moment. Sclolding and lecturing in a DD relationship are not a humiliating expeeience, on the contrary they are an important part of the process. To finish, DD is not BDSM (I'm not criticizing those who likes and live in a BDSM relationship).
    A spanking, I mean a disciplinary spanking is vaery painful, in both aspects - mental and physica~, and one more important - the emotional aspect. It is because after a punishment, the one that received the punishment needs to have the so called aftercare - Know that is forgiven, loved, and so on; and of course receive attention and if need care in the area where the punishment was delivered - the bottom.
    So, humiliation in a DD relationship - No Thanks!
    Kind regards.
    For those who are interested in a good site about a DD relationship where the wife is the boss:
  • Hi Becky,
    How nice to hear from you. We are a couple from Belgium and definitely into DD. My man is being spanked at very regular intervals. I have him spanked some times in front of friends. And when is he unable to show his full manhood I put him in the corner with plastic panties. He will then have to earn back his privileges of a man like wearing normal panties and pants. We have a female diciplinarian friend who receives men and women and he is being sent there occasionally. Have a look at her beautifull site
    I would love to be in touch with you.
  • I was a sub to a Domme for several months last summer. She made her husband and me both wear a locking electric dog control collar while inside their home. She even made him cut the grass while wearing a rubber mask of a pig, and olny an apron on! let me tell you the collar gets your attention quickly!

    They own a small farm so we were out in the country, but she humiliated him a lot. He had to cook nude with only the rubber apron . He wore a CB 2000 all of the time, and had to keep his body shaved clean, including his eyebrows. I shaved him often. He ate only from a dog dish at her feet, right next to mine! I slept in Mistresses bed while her husband slept in the closet cage, often while we had sex. Mistress allowed me to spank him and made him service me with his tongue. During the entire summer I think she only allowed him to cum about once a month. I did not like the pee thing so I left after that summer.
  • Your husband is lucky to have you in-house . Let me first introduce myself .I am from India and where bdsm life style is social taboo. I am a very well established professional . I am masochist gay male and would love to enjoy this life style when at home . However as a head of the organization I am very much focused on my professional responsibilities and cannot go beyond certain limits. Despite extensive search on the net I have tough time to get a suitable match for female disciplinarian. I would live to have a professional strict female disciplinarian & willing to offer all the possible assistance for relocation.
  • Dan
    offline 0
    Hi, Becky,

    Have you visited the site? It is excellent. We have also met "Aunt Kay" the founder, and her husband.

    By the way, how frequently do you spank your husband and what other types of punishments are used.

    Thanks & Spanks,

    Dan & Joy
    • We sure did!, My wife loved the description of aunt Kay's hollering hollow cane so we ordered one.

      She uses that cane whenever I commit a grave offense, we started videotaping our disciplinary sessions since
      the beginning of our D/S relationship, so I can show you the effects of this fearsome cane:

      Believe me, every time that cane hit my arse I remembered the sentence in Aunt Kay's site regarding the hollerin hollow nylon cane:


      And indeed it was, I suffered terribly under the 84 hard cane strokes my wife administered as a punishment for oogling a woman at the super market, I can tell you, it was a lesson to be remembered!
  • Jan
    offline 0

    Hello Becky.

    I have had long time interest in domestic discipline that dates way back to my teenage years, I use to spank each and everyone of the boyfriends I had. Those that would not submit it a spanking or otherwise refused could hit the road. So out of the dozens of boyfriends I could have had, I only had 2 that measured up to my standards. One of which I later married. He walked me down to the alter only after I really give him the spanking of his life just hours before. I wanted to be very sure that he will submit to a new life with me. I will chime in and say that making a punishment embarrassing and humiliating is the key to a well laid out punishment. And his are just that! They are highly structured and planed out well before I utter those famous words ( your getting a licking, now get changed for it ).

    It was in the second year of our marriage that I got sick of the pants dropping ritual that came with his disciplining, so I decided ramp it up in the embarrassment and humiliation department. So one day I presented my husband with a uniform, a school girls uniform! A full uniform from head to toe, shoes and all. And before some of you think this is some sexual game, let me assure its not. As a veteran of a very strict school for girls that I attended, I was no stranger to the strap. And our uniform with the pleated skirts that came to our knees or just slightly above the knees, made then modest, but highly functional and effective when you earned a visit with the strap. In place of fighting with pants, the skirt was out of the way in one easy flip with no fuss or muss and the strap did its job it does so very well. Then after the skirt drops back into place showing no outward signs that he just got your butt wall tanned. Other then the obvious signs like having red eyes or being tearful and very quite for sometime after. These visits with the strap were two fold, you were there to get it for what you earned it for in the first place. Second was a uniform inspection on the spot, and if you were not neat and clean and shoes with a shine and so on, then you got extras for that all at the same time. So you always wanted to look your best when you were sent for that visit. All this had a very positive and good outcome in my life for the better, so I decided that my husband should be exposed to this method and the easy flip of a skirt to get down to task at hand. And at the same time it added a great element, the element of shame, humiliation and embarrassment to all his punishments. In closing I just wish to say that he takes better care of that uniform then I ever did when I was in school and he all ways looks his very best in it from head to toe. And the shine of those shoes is something to behold. I only once had to whip him for a dirty and wrinkled uniform, and I whipped him far worse then the reason for the punishment in the first place. Since that day he looks after it very well. Its been 8 years with the same uniform and it still looks near new as do his shoes. His punishments come with house work as well, while dressed in uniform for a few hours. The only say he has in his punishments is, will it be the spanking first, then the house work. Or would you like to get the house work chores out of the way first. And that is only say he has. Sometimes it comes with the writing of lines as well to give it good well rounded feel to the punishment ritual.
  • Jan
    offline 0

    I did not want to make my last posting to long. As for the emotional part. My husband has on a number of occasions burst into full tears and even light crying from my strappings. I do not use the strap all that hard, but I make each and everyone of them good solid stinger just the same. I believe in letting the strap take its time to teach then lesson that needs to be learned, so I tend to give many swats and let the learning be a slow one. Hast makes waste, and I feel that very hard swats just make a punishment to short as the end result if reached fast to quickly. The standard number, and I do not assign a set number. I let the strap do its job and when it has then it ends and not until then. But the standard number he gets seems to be in the 50 to 80 range by the time I see the true deep down emotions that tell me that it has reached him and had been a good learning experience for him. I could get there in 25 to 30 swats, but that is not learning. That is just a great deal of pain. Learning coming slow and has to take its own sweet time, and it takes time to let ones emotions out freely and not forced out before they are ready to come out on there own.

    I am proud practitioner of loving home domestic discipline. And as shameful as it may feel to him and embarrassing as well as humiliating for him. It’s a very important part and maybe more so then the just the licking its self. But when combined in the right measure the results are something to behold and is a thing of beauty. And just so you all know, my husband picks a time when I am not around to wash and iron his uniform as well as polish the uniform shoes that he most wear with them. He knows what will happen if they are not well kept. So as to not bring undo shame and embarrassment to him, when I know he cleaning his uniform or looking after its needs, I make it a point to give him some alone time so that he may do so in privet. It’s a good arrangement for both of us this way. The spin off’s are. He looks so darn cute in it that I have at times a hard time to take the strap to him, but I know it must be done and I do not back down on my wifely duties to do so.
  • My wife and I are in a fendom relationship, and have been for many years now. My wife decides all of my punishment. The intensity depends on my infraction of house rules. Our DD relationship is 24/7. Being controlled and punished keeps our marriage strong. She has had other women friends punish me as well, and sometimes punished me in front of them. My wife has a large supply of spanking and punishment implements, which she uses generously on me. When being punished I am told what a low life I am, and that I am not good enough for her. She uses words like slut, whore. I am also abused with a strapon, which please her very much.

  • I would also really ejoy guidance in regards to more of the tricks to making sure that my husband really learns from the punishments that I give to him. as far as embarassment that I use with him I have to admit that he is a very lucky guy in the sense that his only consists of being put over my knee for the punishments and corner time. One that gets him is being put in the "diaper" position and being left like that.
    We are pretty new to the world of LDD so any guidance that anyone wants to send my way would be taken with much appreciation....
    • We are new to this too, but inaddition to the OTK and cornertime, if my wife thinks I have been sassing her she does not hesitate to put a bar of soap in my mouth while I am doing cornertime. If you have him doing chores a 50's type frilly apron is very embarassing,especially with a bright red bottom. From my point of view having to do the dishes with an apron on and a just well spanked bottom, let's just say I know who is in charge of our house
  • On my 5oth b'day my wife (6'2" 190 lbs.) had me (5'10" 165 lbs.) over her knee for my b'day spanking when I walked her mom (6'3" 225 lbs.). After the initial shock she started to laugh and said that this was a whole different side of me that she hadn't seen before and wanted a turn to wish me a happy birthday as well. When my wife was done it was over my mother-in-laws knee I went. I was the hardest most humiliating spanking I ever had. Here I was a mature 50 year old man over the knee of a 75 year old woman who was able to spank me to tears with just her bare hand and there wasn't a thing I could do to stop either woman. When she let me up my wife sat me on her lap to sooth me and started to kiss me when her mom said that I must have liked it as she looked at my crotch. My wife looked to then said what a naughty little boy you are and leaned down to suck on and bite my nipple which made me even bigger. She then reached down and stroked me she then looked me in the eye and said that it looks like it's time to blow the candle out. NO NO NOOOO not with your mom here she laughed and with that she laid me flat as she swallowed me down. NO NO NO STOOOOPPP !!!! She then took her mouth off of me and said as you wish then grabbed me and started stroking me faster and faster until I couldn't hold back any longer and hit her shoulder as her mom cheered us on then let herself out.
  • Unsu...
    I'm training my husband to receive punishment without any sound of my husband.
    I dont want to hear any sound of pain or joy.
    When i torture his ball he must present his ball to me. Close his eyes and endure his punishment.
    I dont want to see any tension in his body.
    He must stand loose.

    • I have a Female Mentor. She monitors my behaviour, manners, appearance and insists I remain in chastity. Its bee 2 years now. I am caned weekly, at least 100 strokes full force and a genital caning too which is very painful. The pain stops any arousal particularly as erections earn extra strokes. I feel its needed and deserved
  • I also draw my husband to housework by spanking and humiliation. it does the chores in a very strict code when I get home from work everything must be perfect, mistakes and errors are recorded and punished by a disciplinary meeting usually on weekends. After three years of marriage he knows perfectly in place as a servant.
  • I confess I take the Disciplinarian role, and do not appreciate being on the receiving end, but in addition to the information you find here on tribe you might consider checking - I found 4 groups that appear to match your preferences. Plus, I know several Female Doms on that site, personally, all of whom may indeed have some of the information you're seeking. I don't know if either of them still use Tribe, I seem to recall they felt the other site was more fetish friendly.
  • Hi Becky,
    I use to think that being taken across my wife Barbara’s knee in the privacy of our home was extreamly humillating by it's self. Once we were at her sister Joanne’s house, I got a little mouthy with her sister. Barb pulled my pants and underwear down right there and blistered my bare bottom right in front of her sister. Here I am a grown man over my wife’s knee crying like a little kid. That spanking was the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me. It was a long time before I could look Joanne in the eye without total embarrassment.
  • Put him into a male chastity belt, hold the key on your necklace, and then see him beg in short time!

    We don't engage in male slaves anymore - but there certainly are enough of them if a girl wants to become a Dominatrix. We are more into FEMALE enslavements and enjoy domestic discipline on the other half of the spectrum.

    Best wishes in your future endeavors!

    Master LatexHer
  • In my humble opinion, ma'am, a "you know exactly why this has to happen, don't you" would be sufficient scolding. The discipline, we both know, is meaningless unless it ultimately leaves your husband sobbing like the little boy he still is. But it is the nurturing, the comforting, the stroking of the hair, perhaps even the offering of the nipple that convinces him of your love and that it is your love that forces your exercise of discipline.
  • Unsu...
    My wife Kate likes to humiliate me in front of her bull, her sister or her friends but she does not use spanking or violence. Only verbal and nudity humiliation.
  • Hi Becky - Interesting, in that I could have written this post, myself! We don't go so far as to say it's a female-led home, (I'm the female), but it's more like a loving, nurturing - but strict - home, if that makes sense. We have both signed an agreement - a modified version of the Spencer Spanking Plan - and when he messes up on the things he and I BOTH agreed on, he is spanked. He also gets corner time - sometimes without a spanking, but mostly with. We just decided to share our video clips, though I have to say that these weren't taken for anything but our own enjoyment. They are much more "amateur" - but we both actually prefer that, anyway. There are free previews, by the way. Any proceeds will be for buying new toys and outfits to make more clips with. ;)

    We are interested in talking with other COUPLES - no single men, please - about this lifestyle, as we are just starting out in it in a meaningful way. Or will be soon. We live apart now - though not far away, luckily - and privacy is an issue, but that should be changing. Definitely want to know how couples handle the male ego in everyday life, while still administering real punishment spankings and corner time. My partner is not "wimpy" at all, and I wonder if all I read here and other sites is for real. I guess we'll find out!!


    • 'Loving, nurturing but strict' rather than entirely female led fits my situation too. Having said that my girlfriend of almost a year is also my Mistress and she is very strict and punishes me on a regular basis. At the moment that means a long maintainance spanking (she mostly uses the humiliatingly childish term 'smack-bottom' for all spankings) at the end of the weekend/start of the week with lots of 0TK and caning. And also just as feared 'on-the-spot' spankings during the week for misbehaviour - this is usually a shorter but equally as painful bent down hard slippering. Although always aroused at first by the end of all smackings I am far from aroused, crying, often sobbing, and very contrite. I feel very secure, looked after and more inclined to obey and respect my Mistress more deeply after she has disciplined me. She uses her hand, her very stinging slipper, a paddle, her hairbrush, an excruciating purpose made paddle-brush, an almost as painful bath-brush, and her canes. I am always soundly told off - sometimes shouted at if she is very cross - and I am bared before going over her knee or made to bend down and touch my knees. During and afterwards I have to do bare bottom cornertime, keeping still with hands on my head. Even on days when I am not punished I am bollocked about something and sometimes get a sharp smack or two on my face for cheek or impudence.

      We only live together half the time at the moment -though we are very close by - heaven knows what state my bottom will be in when I move in and I inevitably get into trouble more. My girlfriend also dominates me a lot in a more sexual sense (nasty or very teasing handjobs, firm milking, footjobs, facesitting, orgasm control, feet and bottom worshipstern her-on-top fucking etc) so, although a very strong personality myself - probably why ours is not a 100% female led set-up I am a pretty submissive boyfriend. I wouldn't have it any other way. She is naturally very dominant and I am much more sexually and spiritually satisfied with a genuinely strict girlfriend who keeps me keen and on my toes. We are also best friends and very much in love. It's been a long time coming (I am not far off 40) but I'm much happier with Miss Rigidly Right! Mind you, my partner is currently very busy with starting a new career and studying so she is stricter than ever and I am being scolded and my backside warmed far more than I ever imagined. I would be happiest with the weekly maintaince spanking only but my Mistress has other ideas - she gets far more satisfaction than me when very firmly slippering my bottom in between times. But I must confess that is when it feels least sexual and most like genuine punishment.
      • My partner is being mentored in disciplining me by my ex wife's mother. Prior to seeing me spanked she had no exposure to any kink. She thought herself quite vanilla. I have been wrestling with my own feelings of confusion as my discipline sessions with my ex mil have been very humiliating and painful. I have however felt some sense of calm and in some way found the lingering sore bottom erotic. I do not get any sense of being switched on before or during the punishment, in fact the pain is really intense and just seeing my exmil scares me. My lover is now reading about fem Dom and spanking and says she finds it very erotic both when she has seen me over ex mil's knee and when she is spanking me. Yesterday while driving together I received a citation for not coming to a proper stop at a sign, I argued with the officer and my partner told him she was sorry I was rude and that I would be sorry too when we got home, she told him she was going to give me a hiding I would not soon forget. When we arrived home upon entering the house she grabbed my ear and began scolding me. She then did as promised and gave me a real thrashing.

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